Changes...

I have been practically non existent in the online world the last year or so, and that's mainly because real life has been so very real, exciting, and full of changes. Pretty much all GOOD changes, but changes nontheless. And change, of course, always means a little upheaval in one's everyday life, therefore, things like goals and habits and creativety--daily writing, weekly updating of blogs, publishing books--tends to fall by the wayside.

But it looks like life is finally settling down to normality again. And before I continue, I have to tell the of the best and biggest change in my life:

Yes--I got engaged!

(Wedding date and other planning is still being worked out at the moment...)

What else have I to announce? Nothing much; well, nothing that compares to that anyway. 😄

At the moment I'm working on my goals for the New Year, and mapping out for myself how I intend to accomplish them. All fun for me, but boring for you I'm sure. But a quick rundown of what I'd like to do this year includes:

• Hit a yearly writing wordcount goal (180,000 words because that's just 500 words a day. I've added a wordcount meter to track my progress into the sidebar).
• Do a Reading Challenge--for me that simply means read all the unread books on my bookshelf (around 80)...and maybe on my Kindle too (thats more like 200...yeah, could be I need to sort through that and ask myself if I SERIOUSLY am ever going to want to read this book, or this book, or this book...)
• Speaking of which--declutter my computer and other aspects of my digital life! (*coughs* like whats on my Kindle? *coughs*)
• I would like to sign up on a site where I can sell prints of my artwork. Still looking into that one. Etsy would be fun but I don't know if I have the time or patience to sell and ship handmade goods at this time. We shall see!
• And of course I want to publish more books this year (I totally failed on that in 2016)
• Also various daily habits I'd like to get into: read my Bible (and keep some sort of devotional journal), exercise, eat healthy and track my food/calories.

I also have decided to try the 101 Things In a 1001 Days Challenge...with some changes of my own. Really its better to say it started out to be that challenge but I had more things to put on my list than 101, and then it seemed that since 1001 days are nearly 3 years, I would just make it a full 3 years. So, we shall see how that pans out.

My main goals for January are:

• finish and publish When Freida Fixes It
• update my fairytale flashfiction anthology
• Have an "Idea Month" where I write or sketch three new creative ideas every day
• Make some "tiny art" this month: Inchies, Rinchies, Betwinchies etc.
• Go ahead and sign up on one of those artsy sites and get at least one art print going! (aka, learn how to do this thing...)
• Of course, start my reading challenge, and the various habits mentioned (which includes 500 words a day for my writing challenge!). I may need to make some kind of habit chart or spreadsheet...
• Declutter/organize my clothes, and work through my Ebooks and Documents for digital decluttering.
• Work on my "101 Things" challenges as I have time,
• And a few more private matters on the list I'm not mentioning online!

As for how I intend to hit all these things...basically breaking them down into Weekly Task Lists and Daily To Do Lists. I can't help myself. Secretly I'm an Organizing List Freak...

At any rate putting my goals and to do lists on my blog keeps me accountable! Now we shall see what I actual manage to get done this month and this year...

Wish me luck!

Quick update and a lot of artiness...

I've left this blog alone so long I almost feel like I'm awkwardly attempting conversation with a complete stranger. But then perhaps in a way I am. So much has been going on this year, so much has changed...I have changed. For the better. Growth is always a good thing.

One constant though has been art. I will add a few pictures below. That's always fun--creating things, making a mess, throwing paint around.

I'd like to get back on track, writing wise. Bit distracted lately. But I do want to publish at least one more story before the end of the year. As for NaNo...we'll see. I'd like to participate again. We'll see if I can settle down to the mad pace when it comes around!

Anyway, as promised, here are a few arty pictures.

All Love, No Fear

Lately God has been reminding me of how I don't have a thing to fear when I'm following Him.

I don't have to worry about messing up, if I let Him lead me.

When I do mess up, all I have to do is give it to Him and trust him to make the best thing possible out of it.

I don't have to fear the future when He goes ahead of me.

I can stop feeling confused and harried. His timing is perfect in all things. I just need to draw close to Him, love Him, and trust His way is always best.

That's all. I just needed the reminder. Maybe you did too. :)

Me, Learning to Accept Messy Imperfection...

For the last month or so I've intended to write a post. I thought I might write about Perfection (with a capital. Yep). I even wrote it, and swore to put it up exactly as is, just to prove I'm trying to get past the need for everything to be perfect.

Only I never did. Ironic.

Then had a birthday (Year older. Ahhh!!). Went on a mini-adventure (spent the week out of town at a friend's house). Now back to normal life (writing, art, looking for a job, etc...).

Been a bit of a crazy week at that. Trying to get back into the swing of things, I guess. And then, a very close friend of the family (an "adopted grandma" actually) died this week. Tonight and tomorrow, visitation and funeral. Craziness continues.

Not a good day for a blog post you see. But here I am writing it.

I guess the point is, I don't have to feel like I must write something life-changing or deep or whatever when I post here. I'm just being me. Sometimes I write something really cool. Sometimes not. 

I'll just be me, and let God use it all--the awesome parts, the failures, the mistakes--to make whatever he wants of me.

Seems to be part of a lesson He's trying to hammer into my head, lately. Not being ruled by the need for perfection, I mean. In my life, and in creativety (art or writing or anything else). It started with the move to a free blog.

Then read some great ebooks by Dean Wesley Smith and Kristine Katherine Rusch. It's encouraged me to write more and worry less...about marketing and all that. Writing is what I do best (and it's the most fun!). I can always go back and fix mistakes later. There WILL be mistakes, but I've got to learn to be okay with that. It's part of learning. And that's the cool part about being an indie author. You can always tweak and fix things at any time.

Then in my art...

I'm taking part in Lifebook 2016 from the wonderful, adorable, AMAZING Tamara LaPorte. Each lesson is a reminder not to worry about perfection, but one in particular hit home.

It's called "Fearless Art" and taught by Annie Hammond. In the lesson she collaborates with her 3 year old daughter, Tallulah, on a painting and all I can say is...wow! I think I want to be Tallulah when I grow up. 

Also I think I shall be borrowing several of my young cousins for painting fun in the future. I already save old drawings the kids make because I think its fun to make works of art around them. This lesson just showed me so much more I can do with them.

Its certainly encouraged me to let my Inner Child come out and play. I even played a little painting game with my sister (a few years younger than me, but not into art at all). We took turns working on the same picture. Great fun, and I love how it turned out!

What we ended up with :)

At any rate. That's where I'm at right now in my life.

Don't be perfect. Be messy, flawed, wonderful YOU. 

God can use you that way. Believe me.

Don't believe me? Take it from an artist. I make lots of messy mistakes when I create art. I can either throw it out...or make something gorgeous out of it.

For example this....

....became this!

And this?

Tada! (forgive the poor lighting. Imperfections remember...)

I've learned that there's hardly anything I can do to a painting that can't be fixed, covered up, or turned into something really, really cool.

For the record, God is great at making really cool and gorgeous things out of our mistakes.

So, that's it from me today. Let's all take a deep breath, love our messy selves...and trust God to make masterpieces out of us!

I leave you with another picture or two:

Meet Gwendolyn (he's a bonsai tree) and Renaldo the hog. They live with the friend I visited last week. :)

Portrait I made of them in a notebook my friend and I share.

Have a wonderful weekend everyone! :)

Why I Switched To A Free Blog, and What Success Means To Me

Tada! New surroundings, as I'm sure you've noticed. And you may be wondering why.

I hope so. I'm dying to explain!

I've been pretty mum in the online world since mid-October. And its been good for me, mostly. I've been re-thinking a lot of things, and I've come to a lot of interesting new conclusions. Also, I've been sick a lot. That's why this blog post didn't come out a few weeks ago. If I'd felt better, I would have written around Christmas (by the way, I'm noticing that the worse I feel physically, the harder it is to feel ambitious. Or to just plain out-and-out Get Discouraged).

Anyway--the new blog. (WARNING: Rants ahead!)

Basically, I decided it was better for me, at this stage in my life to go back to a free site/blog. Maybe some day I will be better able to afford a paid website (I certainly hope so!). But I no longer feel I have to have a paid site.

Why?

Well, if you are at all interested in being an online entrepreneur of any kind, you've probably heard Marketing Gurus expounding over and over on how you must have a website of your own. There's two main reasons for this. One, a paid website is yours (*cough* so long as you can keep up the payments of course. *cough cough*). The only other reason seems to be professional pride. That people will take you more seriously if you don't have a "blogspot.com" or "wordpress.com" attached to your domain.

Well. Maybe people do take you more seriously with a paid site. But I'm not so sure that I ever cared much, until the Marketers told me too.

I'm also starting to think that Pride alone is a pretty poor reason to buy something I really cannot afford at the moment. 

As for having a place that's really all mine on the internet...how true is this if I can't pay for it any longer? Now thats something I've always wondered about. I have to pay for domains and hosting, so who am I paying? Doesn't that give the people I'm paying some sort of claim too? Therefore, aren't I right back to Square One, "renting space" off somebody online?

Don't get me wrong! I know that a website is much better than using a social media account to market something you're selling. I'm just taking a stand for all of us dirt-poor entrepreneurs and saying, I honestly see NOTHING wrong with a free site or blog until you can afford something better.

And please don't fall into the trap of thinking that just because you do buy something (a website, a how-to course, or a myriad other things), that it will certainly make you a success. A website doesn't guarantee success. There's a lot more goes into it.

Of course, maybe I need to stop and define "success" here! By it, do I mean, that you gain a following of thousands, or make enough money to quit your day  job, or become the next J.K. Rowling or....what?

I guess that all depends on you. It's different for everyone.

But I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

Let me tell you what my defination of success is.

What I love to do most is create. I love words and I love color. I am a storyteller and an artist. To me, a day is wasted if I haven't drawn a picture, written a couple hundred words, or in some other manner made something beautiful.

Since I've been sick, I've been thinking a lot about why I do what I do. For the last year I've been putting up short stories as ebooks, working like crazy on a website, and trying to build an email list. I've learned a lot of practical things in the process, but the truth is, the only reason I could find for any of this crazy Hubbub was, "So I can get people to buy my books, and then make enough money doing it, that I can write books full time."

That's not really a bad reason of course. But it seems to have become the only reason I was doing anything. And the truth is, as soon as money enters the picture all happiness and contentment spirals downward.

It leads to a very self-centered point of view. Not to mention sheer desperation! And pretty soon, its simply no fun to write, draw, or create--and that was the whole point of this disappointing spiral! To have enough time to make the things I love to make!

At this point in my thinking (and realizing), I came to a conclusion on what would be success for me.

For me, success is doing whatever will please God, not myself.
For me, success is being able to reach out and help others in some way, even if it means a little discomfort to myself.
For me, success is creating things of wonder and beauty, just for the joy of making them--and if those things can serve the first two purposes, even better!

So, that's why I'm simplifying. That's why I moved to a free website. That's why I'm taking another look at the thousand and one goals I set at the beginning of the year (yes, I'm a goal-setting-aholic. I admit it)...and plan to simplify some more!

Not sure exactly where this journey will take me, but its bound to be a pretty exciting one!

I hope you'll take a moment to comment and tell me what success means to you...and how my blog, my creations, and myself could be of service in your life!

Have a blessed and creative day, my friends!