My Future Is More Than a Man

So lately I've been seeing what a slave to my own desires and ideas I am.

Namely the idea that I need a man for my life to be complete. Whether that's just “a man” in general or a specific not-just-anyone-will-do man. I've suddenly seen that, for most of my life I, like most single women in this country, have been going around thinking “If a man doesn't find me attractive, if a man doesn't ask me out, if I’m not married—whatever—then I am not special or important or…anything.”

Its a horrible lie. Because I use this ridiculous thought process to handicap my own life. As if I’m thinking that my life cannot begin until it has a man in it! Which is ridiculous because I have so many talents and passions and projects and ideas I could be focusing on and having an awesome time with…but instead I get obsessed with the Don’t-Be-Single-Find-A-Man Quest and fritter my life away!

Great pep talk Leslie! Good job! Go you—now get to work on that awesome life and let God bring the right man at the right time.

Well. Well, well. I just had another realization. I don't even know how to begin imagining and creating my own future without a man in it. I just noticed that my first reaction when thinking of the future, is to imagine what the right kind of man for me would look like, or if I know anyone who is remotely close to the kind of man I could respect and follow, and then what I might need to do to meet such a guy and…

Honestly, its like I feel I must find someone to place my affections on! As if this were some sort of job opening that had to be filled instead of…well, whatever. I’m pretty sure that isn't how its supposed to work…

Well enough of that. I challenge myself (especially since I find I’m rather repulsed by me acting like this). I'm going to stop fretting about the future (me and my imagination both. Hey. I can’t help it. I’m a writer. My imagination and I are VERY good friends). I will trust God and let him do what is best with me and my life!


Because really, my life is so much more than whether or not I ever marry. I'm sure God has more in mind for me and He doesn't want me wasting my life like this (neither do I. I have ambition. I just sometimes have trouble finding it). If He has romance in the works for me, He'll bring it about at the right time, in the right way. I don't have to go on the search for Mr. Right. If he's out there God knows where he's at, right? And if that is not what God has for me, ever, can I be happy?

Truth be known, yes.

I have goals, dreams, ambitions and desires that have nothing to do with romance or marriage (I feel like I mentioned this before…). And honestly, the right person would need to fit into those goals—and I into his—or it would not work well. That should be pretty obvious, but I think its the first thing we tend to forget…

So I will do what God wants me to do. I will live happily in the place God has placed me in. I will strive for the dreams that live in my heart. I will work and play, write and draw, sing and create, enjoy life and live for my Lord—

And when and if God ever brings the right man for me into my life, I won't have to worry and fret about making things turn out right…because everything will fall into place and he will just fit perfectly into my life as if he'd always been there.

After all, if that's Gods plan--I guess he already does.

Trying to Find Something to Say, Introducing Myself...

“We are each of an unsocial, taciturn disposition, unwilling to speak, unless we expect to say something that will amaze the whole room, and be handed down to posterity with all the eclat of a proverb.” --Jane Austen in Pride and Prejudice

"[Emily] had once shocked Aunt Elizabeth by coolly telling her that she would 'rather be bad than ridiculous.'" --Emily Climbs by L.M. Montgomery

Perhaps these two quotes, put together, could sum up the reasons it has taken me so long to start a blog. Not that I am really of a "taciturn disposition" (though strangers might assume I was unsociable at times), nor would I go so far as to say I'd "rather be bad" than ridiculous. But still, I've always sympathized with the feeling behind it. I guess I've always been afraid, deep down, that what I'm saying doesn't matter, that it bores someone, that horror of horrors, I am actually making a fool of myself. Thusly, I'm afraid to try new things. Dancing sounds fun, but I'll just look silly. I love to sing, but not in front of anybody. I could post artwork online, but is it really that good? I could start a blog but why would anyone care what I have to say?

Indeed. What am I doing here?

Umm...because it would be fun sounds like a pretty good reason to me! At least if the only reason stopping me is "I might look stupid." Yes, I probably will sound ridiculous at times--to myself, if no one else. But why should I let that bother me?

With all that out of the way then, what sort of blog is this to be?

I did a thorough search (aka, read several posts) on "how to write a blog." It seems you're supposed to go with some sort of "theme" and only post about one particular thing. But that means I'd have to do 2 or 3 blogs if I were to sort out the different things I'm interested in blogging about. I obviously shall have enough trouble keeping one going. So I'm going to be unprofessional and throw everything in here. A regular mish-mash, hodge-podge, hash, conglomeration, crazy quilt, everything-but-the-kitchen-sink....

Okay. Sorry, went a little wild there with Thesaurus.com. Gallimaufry and salmagundi may apply as well.

Words obviously, are a big interest. And writing in general. I love reading and writing fantasy, especially Christian fantasy (many blog posts will hopefully be in the fantastical theological vein. Or at the very least we must discuss Narnia. At least once!). But I also like old-timey, quaint, regional stories--classics, children's books, romances. L.M. Montgomery, Jane Austen (surprising, I know...). I really want to write Ozark stories similar to Anne of Green Gables. I love anything old fashioned--Victorian, Regency. Or anything of the 50s and 60s--old movies, tv shows, dresses.... Have I mentioned paper dolls yet? No. I draw/design paper dolls (because I'm awesome like that). And I like Old Time Radio shows. And music, of course. Any of these things, plus random incidents from my daily life, and the odd passing thought, are likely to show up here at anytime.

So there you are. Welcome to my blog. I hope it does prove interesting.

I think I was right about one thing. This IS going to be fun!